Articles Bereavement Counselling Tunbridge Wells

What is Grief?

  • Grief is a natural reaction when someone close to you has died.
  • There is no right or wrong way to grieve – there are a range of emotions that will vary in intensity. These may include:
  • Shock
  • Numbness
  • Anger
  • Sadness
  • Relief
  • Guilt
  • Depression
  • Loneliness
  • Often grief is a time of reflection with significant change and adjustment.

You may notice some or all of the following are affected:

Sleep is affected, both getting to sleep and/or staying asleep

You may experience nightmares or dreaming about the person who has died.

You may find it harder to socialise and be in larger groups. You may notice you find it harder to leave your home.

You may feel more anxious and/or panicky

  • It may be harder to concentrate
  • Feel like you are in a bubble

Physical feelings:
As well as the range of emotions experienced when you are grieving, it is not uncommon to notice physical reactions. Again, there is no right or wrong way nor set amount of time this will last, but you may notice: More aches and pains in your body and lack of energy. You may feel more anxious or panicky.

There are a number of factors that impact on how we grieve:

  • Our relationship to the person who has died
  • Who we are as people
  • What else is going on in our lives – such as financial changes, health issues, problems at work
  • Who else we are supporting
  • Other losses we have experienced.

PTSD – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Ten years ago, most research showed PTSD to be an incurable condition (Benedek, Friedman, Zatzick, & Ursano, 2009) but evidence and research proves it is possible for PTSD to be successfully treated many years after the traumatic event occurred. Evidence suggests that around 70% of people who suffer with PTSD in the UK do not receive any professional help at all.

It is never too late to seek help.

PTSD is essentially a memory filing error caused by a traumatic event and can affect anyone who has been exposed to a traumatic event. The defining characteristic of a traumatic event is its capacity to provoke fear, helplessness, or horror in response to the threat of injury or death and therefore can affect anyone. Examples of traumatic events include:

  • bereavement including suicide
  • serious accidents
  • being told you have a life-threatening illness
  • violent personal assault, such as a physical attack, sexual assault, robbery, or mugging
  • military combat
  • natural or man-made disasters
  • terrorist attack
  • traumatic childbirth

Any exposure to a traumatic event can cause PTSD, such as:

  • You experienced the traumatic event
  • You witnessed, in person, the traumatic event
  • You learned someone close to you experienced or was threatened by the traumatic event
  • You are repeatedly exposed to graphic details of traumatic events (for example, if you are a first responder to the scene of traumatic events)

Anyone can be diagnosed with PTSD, and it’s estimated that 1 in 10 people develop PTSD. 1 in 5 firefighters, 1 in 3 teenagers who have survived a horrific car crash, 70% of rape victims, 2 in 3 Prisoners of War, 40% of people who experienced a sudden death of a loved one, and an estimated 10,000 women a year following a traumatic childbirth, develop PTSD. (PTSD UK 2019)

WATCHFUL WAITING

If you have mild symptoms of PTSD, or you have had symptoms for less than four weeks, an approach called watchful waiting may be recommended.

Watchful waiting involves carefully monitoring your symptoms to see whether they improve or get worse. Although frustrating, it is sometimes recommended because 2 in every 3 people who develop problems after a traumatic experience will get better without treatment within a few weeks.

If watchful waiting is recommended, you should have a follow-up appointment within one month.

I am able to advise you, through a face to face assessment session, whether I feel you are suffering from PTSD. Please contact us for an appointment.